She Just Is
by Unsaid Goodbyes
Summary: Do you ever feel…like you’ve done something incredibly improper, even though it felt appropriate at the time? Have you ever felt like, even if you were trying to do the right thing, it just felt wrong in the end? YukixKaname.


A/N: This is the one-shot I've been talking about. A little fluff moment with Kaname and Yuki, because those two are _as good as_ Bella and Edward. No questions asked. And…if you like Zero and Yuki, I'm not trying to offend you but…you're stupid. Just putting that out there. Zero is like the Jacob of the series; funny at times, but mostly annoys me. Anyway, this is just a little idea that popped into my head. I always found that Zero was right in a way, that Yuki _didn't_ want him drinking her blood, but she did it anyway. So, this is her finally saying she'd stop. Takes place after Zero has drunk Kaname's blood—so he wouldn't turn into a Level E. So, onto the story…

Summary: Do you ever feel…like you've done something incredibly improper, even though it felt appropriate at the time? Have you ever felt like, even if you were _trying_ to do the right thing, it just felt wrong in the end? YukixKaname.

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**Title: **She Just Is

**Rating: **T

**Authors: **Breathless Tomb

One-Shot

**Yuki's POV**

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It was after twilight, the sun hanging low in the sky. I sat on the edge of the tree branch, swinging my legs back and forth, feeling the gentle, cool wind blowing my hair around. Zero was off somewhere, patrolling the inside. None of the Day Class students were lurking about, and—as happy as I was—there was a part of me that longed for their distraction, to keep my brain from drifting back to certain things.

My hands instinctively came up to touch my neck, grazing the now fading puncture marks. Zero hadn't fed from me in weeks, so it was gradually healing. This bothered me though. Didn't I want Zero to stay healthy? Sure, he hadn't had an attack since…weeks ago, but that couldn't last forever. I was sure of it. Zero would eventually crumble again.

And I would be waiting to help him back up.

I slipped off the branch, landing gracefully on the balls of my feet, without a sound. It was much too silent today. The Night Class students were all still studying, so I doubted they'd be out for awhile. I replaced my hand back over the bite. Once again, the feeling of disgust fell over me.

"You're doing something to help Zero," I reminded myself, clenching my teeth, "Stop it already. You're overreacting. It's just blood. Not much." But the feeling was still there. It was in my veins, sparking every nerve. Disgust. Utter contempt. For myself, for giving my blood, and for Zero…

For taking it.

I started running wildly, my arms pumping at my sides. But the thoughts kept coming back to me. Seeing Kaname's sad, lonely face. Hearing his words, his beautiful voice thick with disappointment. _I'd hurt him_. That fact displeased me immensely. Like cutting a dagger through my still beating heart. I clutched at my chest as I sprinted through the forest, panting.

"No!" I yelled as I ran, "It's my decision! No one else's! I won't let myself be turned against my own wishes!" I stopped suddenly, grasping my knees as I gasped for air. Fresh, clean oxygen filled my deflated lungs. I shook it off, starting up my mad dash again. I was pushing myself too hard, trying to feel physical pain, to rid myself of these thoughts.

_Your blood…it had that certain taste._

_You'd rather your blood drunk not by me but by Kaname Kuran._

I came to an abrupt halt, clamping my closed fists over my mouth and shrinking in agony. I staggered forward, spotting a small pool of water close by. Dropping to my knees, I splashed a handful of water onto my face. What was I doing to myself? I was killing myself by bringing up these morbidly wicked thoughts. _You're such a masochist Yuki_, I thought.

I fell backwards onto the grass, watching the darkness fall, the night stars clear in the air. Twinkling like beacons. No one star was brighter than the others. They all had a certain…uniqueness to them, something too lovely to ever give up. They all shone so brightly, even with some _light years_ away from others. Their distance and—therefore—lack of light, made up for the closer, weaker stars.

_Now, doesn't that relate to this situation perfectly._

I drew a deep breath, closing my eyes. Why was I so guilty? I hadn't a reason to be, yet I was. Spiralling and falling into my own universe of despair and confusion. My hand—facing downwards—clenched into a fist, grabbing a palm-full of dirt and grass. I squeezed, any amount of pain bringing me sweet relief.

_I wonder when…you stopped telling me everything Yuki._

"Shut up," I groaned, rolling over onto my side. I let go of the dirt, using my fists to press against my eyes, whimpering from the unwelcome, bombarding thoughts that were clouding my mind. But, as hard as I tried, they kept coming, like a wrecking ball through my brain

_In ten years, that's the only thing that has changed._

I got to my feet rather feebly, not sure if I had the strength to move. I walked over to a tree, leaning back and feeling the water droplets drip down my face. I could still hear the voices in my head, but I tried to push it away. It was too…difficult to comprehend these emotions coursing through my body. _Kaname_.

"You seem distressed Yuki-chan," said a voice from behind me. I whirled around, my hand flying to my throat in surprise. _What was with me?_ I hadn't even thought to take out Artemis. I hadn't even heard anyone sneak up behind me. I was losing my touch.

Aido was leaning against another tree, his eyes closed peacefully. I frowned. His hands were dug deep into his pockets, casually. He looked almost as if he were taking a calm slumber against the tree. His lips flicked up into a smirk, one eye opening, showing a perfectly shimmering turquoise iris. He raised a sole eyebrow.

"It's none of your business Aido-sempai," I snapped, reaching up to wipe a small drop of sweat from my forehead. He chuckled, opening his other eye. He looked up into the sky, his face smoothing out, relaxing. I followed his gaze, looking up to the black dotted night. I heard his sigh.

"It's a beautiful night, isn't it?" Aido smiled wistfully, "Usually the moon never shines so bright. _Our_ eyes are by far accustom to the darkness, but the extra light never hurts. The stars are quite stunning tonight." His eyes took a quick look over to me, "What do you think, Yuki-chan?"

My lips pursed, "The darkness isn't especially pretty to me. I much prefer the light. So, the moonlight does give a nice touch to the dark forest and school grounds. I doubt I'd ever be a good vampire; I love the day. I could never sleep through it." I frowned, "Of course, I kind of _have_ to, being a prefect. But not by choice."

"We don't choose the life we live," Aido said, his words filled with conflicting emotions, "We don't just _decide_ to become this way. It's just how we are. Over time, you get used to it. Years aren't a problem to vampires. We have plenty time to see the daylight every once in awhile." There was a silence. I didn't feel comfortable around Aido, but his presence offered a much appreciated distraction to my raging thoughts. But I had to ask.

"Aido-sempai," I started, still not looking at him, "Do you ever feel…like you've done something incredibly improper, even though it felt appropriate at the time? Have you ever felt like, even if you were _trying_ to do the right thing, it just felt wrong in the end?" I felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulder. But the voices still rang.

_Yuki…I can't keep my composure…when my dear girl has been pierced by someone else._

"No," Aido replied simply. I rolled my eyes. "I don't have regrets. They're a waste of time for me. Like spending ten minutes trying to open a can." His eyes glanced over to me, "_Oh_, you wanted me to give you a huge, heart-warming response of how I feel the same, and how you're not alone, and all that, didn't you?" I rolled my eyes for a second time.

"Way to go and spoil the mood Aido," I said sarcastically, "Jeez, I can't talk about anything serious with you. Talking to you is the conversation equivalent to getting shot in the head." I huffed, folding my arms across my chest in annoyance. Aido laughed, and I saw a look of realization pass before him.

"_Oh_, now I get it. You're talking about giving Zero your blood, aren't you?" He chuckled, wickedly amused. I gasped shocked and simply terrified. _How did he know?_ Had Kaname told him? I banished that thought as soon as it floated into my head. Kaname wouldn't do that to me. I was nearly certain.

"H-how did you know?" I stuttered, my eyes wide. Aido sighed, looking utterly insulted and slightly amused. "Why did you laugh?"

"No one ever thinks that I _might_ be intelligent enough to figure something out," He sighed, "It wasn't _that_ difficult, Yuki-chan. I simply noticed how Zero's health seemed to be improving every time I saw fresh puncture wounds on your neck. Besides, no one else would dare cross Kaname-sama so." He chuckled, "That's just asking to be slaughtered. I don't know why he tolerates Zero though." A look of frustration flashed in Aido's eyes.

I blushed, "Well, you're right. I was thinking about that. It's been bothering me for days now, but tonight the guilt seems to be increasingly worse." I scowled, "And I can't put my finger on the reason why." Aido grinned, running a hand through his gold-blonde hair.

"It's very simple," He said, "Your blood knows that it doesn't like to be consumed by _Kiryu-san_." He looked annoyed at the mention of Zero's name. I remembered Aido's intense dislike for him. "After all, you do owe Kaname-sama your life. Your blood recognizes who it values more. It abhors Zero's intrusion, stealing your life-force." He placed a sole finger on his bottom lip, "There are other reasons, but they're deeper reasons, so they don't apply to you."

"Oh." I looked away. I hesitated, then asked, "Could you try to remember the deeper reasons anyway? I am curious." Aido wrinkled his nose in distaste. I tugged on the ends of my chestnut brown hair.

"Generally…for mates…once you find your mate—whether you know it or not—it makes it intensely unpleasant to have your blood drunk by another," He shrugged, "I've never heard of that first hand, but there are legends. It's nearly impossible for humans to recognize who their mate is, and only slightly easier for vampires. Even that takes awhile. You have to at first acknowledge your attraction to your mate before you understand who they are to you. And, in turn, they must return your feelings."

I blinked in bemusement, "That does sound difficult. Why…it must take _centuries_ for vampires to find their mates." Aido nodded.

"It's the easiest for purebloods. They usually have a greater knowledge of their feelings for others, whether it be apathy or attraction." He made a face, "I tried asking Kaname-sama before, but his reaction always puzzles me." He saw my confused expression, "He smiles and tells me to go back to bed. I don't understand." He seemed significantly irritated by the fact. I giggled.

"Thank you Aido-sempai," I said gratefully, "It was nice to get some insight. These feelings have been driving me insane all night." Suddenly, I remembered something, "Hey, shouldn't you be in class now?" Aido shook his head, smiling a bit.

"Night Classes ended awhile back. I expect you were too _busy_ to see, but it's true."

A grin lit up my face, "You know, it's nice having you civil to me for once, without trying to steal my blood." Aido's face darkened.

"Remember Cross-chan. We're only kind to you because Kaname-sama is. Without him, you would be nothing to us. We even only tolerate Kiryu-san because Kaname-sama doesn't shun him," His eyes were brooding, "Don't expect us to be nice to you on our own accord. You don't mean much to us, besides that Kaname-sama seems to have taken a liking to you." And with that, he blended into the darkness, disappearing from my sight.

It was easy to see now—now that I was alone—why I had been afraid before. The voices were echoing in my head again, getting louder and louder, until they were screams, ricocheting around the forest, though only I could hear them. I whimpered, huddling into myself. The darkness seemed to be getting smaller and tighter. I felt as though it close in on me, trapping me there forever.

I tried to look at it from a vampire perspective. To them, blood was plenty important. And…Aido was right. My blood belonged to Kaname. He'd saved me from certain death, so my life—and in turn my life-force—no longer belonged to _me_, but to _him_. And…as much as he tried to downplay his rescuing me, I was forever in debt to him with my life. And letting Zero drink my blood was almost like…robbing Kaname of what was rightfully his.

"I'm so stupid," I muttered to myself, "Why didn't I notice this before?" I groaned and started running. The trees were flying by me, and I could feel my black skirt fly up a bit from the wind, tough not enough to embarrass me. Aido was right. My blood was realizing that I owed Zero nothing, so nothing belonged to him. In fact, if anything, Zero owed _me_ his life, for I had sacrificed some of my blood for him to stay healthy.

_Not my blood. Kaname's blood._

I slowed down to a walk, hearing my shoes tap against the pavement, barely audible. There was something else thought…another reason why I was upset about the whole situation. It wasn't only about being in debt to Kaname. There was something…bigger. Something I couldn't understand, no matter how hard I tried to rack my brains for an answer.

_You love him Yuki_, my inner voice cackled, _Zero is only family to you. But not Kaname. That's why you'd rather he drink your blood. You fool. You'd rather give up your life than have Kaname forget about you. You'd give him all the blood in your body if it meant he would pay some attention to you._ The voice—which was starting to remind me of a demon—roared with laughter, utterly amused with my infatuation with Kaname.

"You're an idiot," I scolded myself; "You're a brat. Why do you constantly have to do these things to yourself? Jeez…why do I hate myself so much?" Tears leaked down my cheeks, leaving burning lines in their paths. I sniffled, trying to force back sobs. I whimpered again, leaning my side against the trunk of a tree, wrapping my arms around me.

_I don't want anyone to find out._

_You mean Kaname Kuran?_

"No one should hate you Yuki, not even yourself," said a rich, low voice behind me, "You're much too hard on yourself." I spun on my heel and gasped, already knowing who had spoken those words to me. The voice I dreaded and wished I could hear.

Kaname.

I couldn't say a word. My voice seemed stuck in my throat, my mouth suddenly dry. I must've looked like a wreck, with blood-shot eyes, messed-up hair, and tear-stained cheeks. I flushed red as his wine-coloured eyes gazed solemnly on my face. I choked back another sob, new tears threatening to spill forward. Kaname smiled sadly.

"Why is my dear girl crying?" He asked, to himself and to me, "Nothing should hurt Yuki-chan. What's wrong?" This time, I let the sob escape my parted lips, running into his outstretched arms. The tears flooded down, dripping off my chin, staining Kaname's brilliant white uniform.

"I'm sorry Kaname-sama," I sobbed, "I'm sorry! I thought…I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't understand. I'm sorry." More sobs racked my body. Kaname wrapped one arm around my waist, the other cradling my head. He hummed as I cried, trying to calm me down.

"Shh, Yuki," He cooed, "It's all right. You don't have to cry. I'm not mad at you. I could never be angry with you Yuki." The sobs gradually stopped, and I took deep breaths, burying my head farther into his chest. He continued to run his hand through my hair comfortingly. The tears still dribbled down my face, but not as hard anymore. Kaname bent forward, his lips brushing against my ear.

"It's okay Yuki," He said softly, "You don't need to cry. You shouldn't ever be sad. No one is worth your tears. Not even me." I shook my head at this. He deserved more than anything I could ever offer. So much more. He deserved someone beautiful, smart, sweet, and able to make rational decisions. Not someone as childish as me.

"You're wrong," I mumbled into his coat, "You're worth so much more. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been so immature. I don't want to keep secrets from you anymore." I clenched my hands into fists. "It hurts too much." Kaname chuckled and I looked in confusion. His lonely eyes were gleaming with something akin to exasperation.

"You don't see yourself like I do Yuki," He reprimanded, "But you're kind. I know you didn't mean to keep things from me." He sighed, then started—what I assume was—speaking to himself, "My precious girl is so…incredibly odd. I don't know what to make of you Yuki," The last part was meant for me, "I can never predict you. So innocent. You never think of yourself. Only others."

"I think of myself too much," I whispered, looking up into his eyes. Still so lonely. I longed to fill those beautiful eyes with happiness. No one so immensely gentle should suffer so, "I'm too selfish. But…I'll try to change. I want to be more worthy of your kindness." Kaname sighed gently.

"No Yuki. I never want you to change. You're too good for that. Now, sleep my angel. It's much too late for you to be out here." His hand pressed against the back of my head, and a strange drowsiness overcame me. My eyelids felt too heavy, and, with one last look at his stunning face, I was gone.

***

**3****rd**** Person's POV**

Kaname held the sleeping girl in his arms, shifting her slightly so he was carrying her bridal-style. He sighed again, leaning forward to plant a small kiss on her forehead. He smiled as Yuki's lips rose in her sleep, snuggling closer to him. He missed this. Holding her. It was something he hadn't done in so long.

"You can come out," He said, not lifting his gaze from her, "It's no secret to me. You should know that by now." Aido stepped forward from the shadow of the trees, looking sheepish and befuddled at the scene before him. Never had he seen Kaname so…caring to someone. Especially to a mere human girl.

"Kuran-sempai," Aido bowed in apology, "If you don't mind me asking…why?" He seemed at a loss for words, not even sure how to form a coherent sentence. Kaname held Yuki tighter to him, laying another kiss on her forehead, leaving his lips to linger there for longer than necessary He breathed in, adoring her sweet scent.

"Yuki…" He started slowly, "As I've told Kain before you…is the most important. She is _the one_. There is no one more than her to me. And there never will be. She just _is_." He raised his head, to stare into Aido's eyes, "I would do anything for her."

"If she's so special," Aido protested, "Why haven't you just _destroyed_ Kiryu-san already?" Kaname pursed his lips, looking back down at Yuki.

"There are certain…hardships…that I must endure, if I wish to keep Yuki," Kaname said, "If I were to upset her too much…I run the risk of losing her from my life for good. And that would never do." He looked up into the lighting sky, "It's getting bright. I should bring Yuki back to her dorm. She needs sleep." And with that, he was gone. In the blink of an eye.

Aido sighed in aggravation, "I will never understand Kaname-sama." He peered up into the sky, "But it is getting light. I should probably leave now." But his Dorm President's words echoed in his mind, ringing into oblivion.

_She is the one._

_She just is._

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A/N: There, it's done. I like Kaname and Yuki. They're relationship is so much deeper than Edward and Bella's—so much more sincere. Plus, Yuki doesn't keep going between Zero and Kaname. She knows she loves Kaname differently than Zero. It says in the manga that she loves Zero as a brother, not as a lover. So…that makes her more of a likeable character to me. I usually don't like certain characters, but I do like Yuki. I can relate to her more than to Bella.

Remember, review. For me. Feed my addiction. Please. (:

--Breathless Tomb--


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